Guten Tag

Allo meine kleine kinder.  I had a can of soup.  I took it with me wherever I went.  One day, I went out in the woods with the can.  I found a fallen log on a hill in the forest.  I sat down with the soup, like everything was normal, all friendly like.  I took out a knife and cut him open poured his fluids out into a pot and lit a fire beneath it.  Boiled alive.  Soup du jour oo la la.  Uncle Koot’s Salted Giner Emporium.  Transsexual apostrophes.  Bisexual bookmarks.  Corn Bread Islander.  Everybody’s got a little light – – – UNDER THE SUN! UNDER THE SUN!

Barack Obama should follow his original designs.  That’s who we elected, so let’s get that.  The majority of the people voted for him, so he should feel safe going through with whatever he said he would, because the majority approved it.  It’s a shame that the radical minority in this country are the loudest and the most dangerous, so they get their way, while the silent majority gets what they want taken away from them.  I’m a pragmatist.  If it works, do it.  Fuck your beliefs.  Fuck you.  Fuck you.  And one more Fuck You.  I’ll never forget the way I feel now, oh no, no way.  No I won’t do that.  And some days it don’t come easy.  And some days it don’t come hard.  And some days it dont come at all 😉 and these are the days that never end.  And maybe I’m crazy…oh, it’s crazy and it’s true.  I would do anything for love, oh, I would do anything for love.  But I won’t do that?  No?  What is it?  Sodomy?  Strap ons.  If a girl’s love with me depended on fucking me with a strap on, I’d have to say no.  I have a very sensitive rectum.  Doc says it’s the sensitivest he’s ever shaved.  I dream of an America without rectums.  Where a man only goes to the bathroom to pee.  Poop is a thing of the past.  In 2010, vote no to poo.  It’s gross, it smells, why isn’t anyone doing anything about this?  We can put a man on the moon, but we still have to shit out of our asses?  As long as there are humans in space, I shouldn’t be shitting out of my asshole.  As long as there are houses powered by nuclear energy, I shouldn’t be farting.  Let’s send a rocket ship to Uranus and put an end to this mery.  No more shitting.  Let’s start a world movement.  Shitting kills so many people and wastes so much time and causes so much problems.  Environmentally, psychologically, geographically, metaphysically, astrologically, medically…etcetera.  VIVA LA REVOLUTION!!  NO CACA! NO CACA!

We’ll save the world by stopping our shit.

One less shit means one more life.

No more shits, no more worries.

Past Poop.

Poo-Poo to Poo.

FiniShit 2010.

Send in your suggestions for slogans for the new shit free society.  Simply send your entries into c/o joshuadamorris.  No postage necessary, all entries will be carefully scrutinized and molested gently to ascertain the winners.


One thought on “Guten Tag

  1. luise standard says:

    this box to make comments is disabling. your mouse vanishes and you got to click in order to see it appear and then the message box turns white and viola im telling you all about it.
    ill sew up your butthole if it means so much to you. maybe thats why some human beings puke. its not about body image but the image of that reality they dread; the grunting and wiping and water splashing your ass every time you bend to the porcelain. bill clinton knows how to use semicolons but do i?
    yours truly,

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