Pumpkin Pickering


Pumpkin Pickering was a rotund fellow with a penchant for salted meats.  Just like any Tuesday, Pumpkin made his rounds to his favorite butcheries.  Although unknown to him, Pumpkin was in a real patch and  this Tuesday would be his last.  Now, as he entered D’Amigo’s Slabbery, Pumpkin was greeted in the usual fashion.  “Hey Pumpy!  I got some gaba goul, to die for, gaba goouuullllll to diieeee forrrrrrr.”  As always this brought a smile and a tinge of orange to the cheeks of Pumpkin.  “Hey Butch, how’s the biz today?” “Well, methinks to meself and I sez pronouncedly, I sez, ‘Wait til the Pump gets here, then hang yourself.’  Ya know?” “Yeah, let me get a salami and a pepperoni stick to go, I’m late on my rounds.” “Anything you say boss and I don’t mean that colloquially or some shit; You’re my boss Pump,” he then began to knight Pumpkin with his pepperoni stick, “I hereby orders yous and what not to the Order of the Brothahood of Meat Slicers, you are hereby Sir Pumpkin whatevers it is your last name is.” Pumpkin pushin the pepperoni stick out of his ear, “God Bless the Queen, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Butch yelling after Pumpking as he leaves “Hey don’t mention it Pump!  You’re a king among men Pump!  A king among men!  Everyone knows it Pump!  They see you as the king Pump! King Pump! King Pump! God save the King Pump! Beware the ides of march Pump!”

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