Girls on Film


Stop stopping me from stopping myself.  I’ll never start starting to start myself at this rate.  An analogous anagram of my anus would be something comprable to a sauna with too many A’s.  That’s enough monkeying around.  I want to compile all of the jokes I’ve come up with in the past years and start arranging them into a coherent standup comedy routine.  Maybe while doing that I’ll be able to come up with new material in order to have good segways between material.  I also very much would like to do voice acting and to write satirical news articles once again.  All I ever was good at was writing fake news articles.  If I want to be a serious fake newsman I need to really put my nose to the grindstone and start producing material once again.  Ever since High School ended I have found it very difficult to think coherently for large pieces of literature.  I went from a marathon runner (news articles/stories) to a sprinter (jokes).  Standup comedy is much easier than writing actual stories.  Basically, there is no necessary structure to standup comedy, unlike stories and news articles.  Really when I wrote news articles all it was was taking a one-liner and expanding the living shit out of it into a full length article.  That takes alot more skill and talent than I realized at the time; it used to come naturally to me, in fact I used to feel as though I was not writing it at all, but just being used as a conduit for our hilarious God to write through.  Maybe thinking too much is the problem.  Either way, the deal is right now I am only capable of writing one-liners, but my heart of hearts wants to write stories, plays, movies, sketch comedy routines, etc.  That is really what I want to do.  I want to dramatically write, in a funny way of course.  I have no interest in ever being serious.  In fact, this entry is way too unfunny for me.  I’m nervous about performing standup, you’re really putting yourself on the line.  You have really no gauge whatsoever if what you have is funny or not until it’s far too late and you’re already up there being castrated.  I would say that standup comedy is 90% delivery and whatever’s left out of 100% is material.  If you were to read a transcript of what some of the most famous comedians’ routines are, you probably would not find it remotely funny.  That is good news for me, seems like I’m on the right track because reading what I have got, I am not finding it funny.  Probably also because I’ve read it all too much, thought about it too much, kind of ruins the funniness of it.  Really standup is a highly perishable foodstuff.  It goes bad after one use for sure.  I hate seeing a comedian doing the same material over again, it is never funny.  You always gotta have something fresh, or rather yet, hope for a fresh new audience; that’s alot easier than coming up with new material.  Not that coming up with material is particularly difficult.  I mean, I’ve never sat down and decided to come up with jokes; you just pick them up along the course of everyday activity.  Gotta have a note taking device handy at all times.  It is very difficult to recreate my natural impromptu quirkiness for a rehearsed situation.  That is the challenge.  Gotta create a persona, a proper vessel to propagate my seed.  Oh well, I really have to stop finding ways to avoid what I should be doing.  Let me just recap for my own benefit.  These are the things I’d like to do:  Standup, Playwright, Screenwriter, Sketch Comedy, Voice Acting, Screen Acting, Stage Acting, Faux Journalist, Director.  You’d think with all those interests I’d never be bored, maybe I have way too much free time.  Maybe I need something to really take up all my time so that my free time seems much more fleeting and valuable and I utilize it more productively.  Remember a few lines ago when I said I need to stop finding ways to avoid what I need to do?  Well you’re a motherfucker, look at what you did, oh, procrastination is an eely mistress goddamnit.  Get to work fuckface!  Aye aye el capitan!  Buon Viaggio.

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