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A clever way to survive while remaining broke and unemployed.

Man knocks on random door.

Woman answers.

Woman:  Hello?

Man: Hi.

W: Can I help you?

M: Yes, and by helping me, you would be helping yourself.

W: What do you want?

M: Well, I’m looking for donations to help my cause, any amount would be great.

W: What exactly is your cause?

M: Well, as you probably are already well aware, the world is about to end.

W: It is? How?

M: Well, through various means and methods which are all equally undesirable and horrible.

W: Oh.

M: But, what is important is by simply giving me enough money for food and other necessities, your survival along with the rest of humanity is mutually assured.

W: And why exactly is that?

M: I’m with the government.

W: What do you do for the government?

M: I keep the world from ending.

W: Is there really that big of a threat?

M: Hell yes, as we speak there are forces at work which are out to kill you specifically.

W: I thought the whole world was threatened.

M: Not the people that have given me money.  I’m doing this for your benefit, if you want to die, feel free to be a cheap whore.

W: Why should I believe you?

M: Well, for starters, if you don’t, the consequences are much worse than if you do…so do you got five bucks or what?

W: Fine, get the hell out of here.

M: Thank you kindly and the government of Iran appreciates your contributions.

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