Lowered Expectations

I wish I knew the difference between a penis and a vagina.  I think a vagina is just a tiny penis with wings.  But that’s merely speculation.

Figure skating is probably the best sport just because your costume contributes to how well you do.  It’s the only sport you’re rewarded for looking fabulous.  I think that could really add alot to other sports.  Imagine football players with gold lame and sequins.  Or baseball players with rhinestones and intricate beading stitched on to their uniforms.  It was refreshing to see Jerry Jones (the owner of the Cowboys) and Tony Dungy (former coach of the Colts) were watching the men’s figure skating at the Olympics.  Whereas Jerry Jones was there with his wife, Tony Dungy I think was there alone, so no one was draggin his ass there.  These guys know what’s really good, how manly and athletic this sport really is, probably takes the most athleticism of all the Olympic events.  They are used to seeing men in spandex pants, and to them figure skating is actually probably a lot less homoerotic than football.  Whereas in football there’s alot of man on man, bent over ass touching action, figure skating is either solo or a man and a woman touching each other.  There’s also alot less grunting and groping.

All in all, I’d have to say, I really thought I wouldn’t be interested in the Winter Olympics at all, but I have found myself watching every single day.  I find it even more enjoyable than the summer Olympics.  All of the events are alot more fast paced and deadlier (javelin throw excluded of course).  It’s interesting to note that, I believe, every single event involves people using some sort of contraption; in other words there’s no event where anyone is actually just using their body (which leads to the much more fast paced and dangerous events), i.e. either ice skates, skis, snowboards, luges, bobsleds, skeletons (yeah I learned about that this year, it’s the same thing as a luge but you go head first, and let me tell you something, the girl’s skeleton is a real treat, seeing those spandex wearing ladies ass up bouncing down a winding course, hoo boy), actually, now that I think about it, I think curling is the only sport that uses nothing but the human body, (and a bunch of brooms and a giant polished rock?) but yeah curling is definitely the lamest of all the events, I don’t know why we are making glorified shuffleboard on ice players into Olympic athletes, but o well.  In closing, allow me to state that the Winter Olympics is pretty sweet, I am very jealous of people going extremely fast down ice and snow, and also very jealous of the ice skaters when they spin mindblowingly fast, the Gs these people are experiencing have to be so awesome, I want to do it.  USA USA USA USA USA


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