Farting Up a Storm


Hey, whoa, what’s new, this is great.  To be able to complain to nothing and no one, but still complain. All the complaining and self-pity with none of the guilt.  I can just keep complaining to you about the same shit I’ve been complaining about for years and not feel bad about it.  Well, of course, I’ll feel bad about it, but, also, of course, I will do nothing about it. As long as I feel bad about it, I am sure that it’s ok.  Each day that goes by takes away a day of having to feel bad about it in the future, because one less day to live right? Oh, man, Josh, boy howdy, you are a fucking pathetic pitiful loser.  Anyway, so, I have been making a voiceover demo cd, which on the surface sounds like a great thing.  Way to go Josh, you’re being proactive and doing something that could possibly tie in to what you want to do in life.  But, hold your horses, you only go once every two weeks?  And you drive close to 3 hours one way to Long Island to have a two hour session?  For which you pay $60 for the privilege to do so?  Man, you chump.  The thing that really sucks, is I suck! Ha, it seemed like such an easy proposition, “make money by talking.”  What can be so hard about that??? Well, after trying and failing at reading the same 6 or 8 sentences or so of a commercial for 2 hours straight and not being able to do it right, I can tell you, with assurance, that it is very difficult.  You have to have all these wayyyyy overexaggerated emotions and in such a small frame of time, and change them so quickly, it’s really masterful what the top professionals in this field do.  So, I’m failing at that, but I’m sure you’ve got something else up your sleeve right?  Nope, not really, still working at the part time job, which, actually, this month has been a windfall, I’ll end up working maybe over 8 days or so this month alone!  I could be making over $100 this month! That’s unheard of!  And how about the standup comedy? Surely that has been coming along and you’ve done tons with that! I mean you talk about it all the time and say it’s something you really want to do with your life.  I mean, you wouldn’t just keep saying something is your plan in life and do nothing about it right? I mean, you must have had at least tried by now…right? Nope!  Still have not! I’m not prepared you know? Totally, not prepared.  And for what I consider prepared, it’s pretty fucking obvious I will NEVER be prepared.  I grimaced while writing that.  What’s stopping you/me?  What the fuck is stopping me/you?  Why haven’t I written any TV shows or plays or movies?  Why haven’t I even tried?  The answer is mind boggling obvious you schmuck!  You are afraid of failure! So much so that you won’t even begin to try.  It’s amazing you are trying this voice acting thing, and failing at it miserably.  Oh, you try regular acting too, and by my accounts suck at that as well.  But, it’s what you are waging your future on right?  But, it’s ok if you suck at that right? Because what you really want to do is write anyway!  So who cares if I suck at acting?  Well, ha, at least you have tried acting and realize you suck at that.  Maybe give writing a shot and see if you suck at that or not, so you can get a better idea if you should give up on everything.  Fucking write something, fucking do your standup, you have more than enough to perform already.   Fucking do it, what the fuck else are you going to do???? What the fuck do you have to lose???  You are pathetic enough doing nothing.  At least if you SUCK at doing standup or writing, no one can say I do nothing.  I won’t be pathetic for doing nothing, which in the end is the most fucking pathetic thing you can possibly be.  At least being pathetic at DOING SOMETHING is admirable.  You can fucking admire someone that is going out and putting themselves out there, even if it is god awful.  It’s brave.  Youre a fucking pussy.  You shit eating cunt tossing ass blowing shit kisser.  Fuck yourself, nothing is going to happen in your life unless you do it.  Everything you want is something you have to achieve.  There is nothing I want that can be given to me.  The only things that will ever make me feel good are things that I accomplished myself.  Thus, that is why I am so miserable.  And the fact that the only things I have been trying to do I have been failing at, doesn’t help at all.  Plus, you don’t really want to do commercials with voice acting, you want to do cartoons like The Simpsons or video games like Grand Theft Auto.  And the guy you are taking lessons from kind of seems like all he wants to focus on is commercials, which I suck at.  I’d like to see if I suck at cartooning or not.  I feel like I would be much better at that, so why keep going to this guy, traveling hours in high stress situations and spending shitloads of money to do something I don’t really want to do and am not that good at ????  Find someone thats into cartooning and do that instead you dumb fucking piece of shit. Do I have to spell it all out for you schmuck?  Go! Right now!  Find some place for that instead. Fuckface.

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