I remember when I was monkey. Primordial ooze came out my nostrils. Kleenex wouldn’t wipe up the shit that my ass spewed. Boy my cigar was bigger than a muffin and just as tasteless. Even if I were an astronaut I wouldn’t have remembered how large my scrotum was. Used it as a parachute once, re-entry into earth’s atmosphere. At least I have that to shit on. Put my dick on ice and send it to the Smithsonian. Neil Armstrong had a potluck dinner for Gandhi and served him his own feces. Delighted him. But he didn’t eat, just wore a diaper. That’s the thing about Gandhi. He’s an Indian. Love to fuck. Shoots arrows out his dick straight at buffalo. There used to be a train called the Colonel Custer, it stopped in Montgomery. I got on and fell off. Straight into an I-beam. Built on a skyscraper, placed atop a mouse aboard a ship floating off the coast of MyAnus. MyAnus is a place where shit goes to be pooped. All aboard my shithole. First and last stop my toilet. Flush down my gonads with a handful of sugar. Makes it go down better. My lollipop is covered in lint. Take it in your twat and twist it. Tender is the night, but bitter is my morning wood. Take it up your soul hole. Your spirit is pregnant with a Norwegian Whale. An elephant once sat on my father’s hat. He kicked it in the balls and massaged its viagra. Blue Light. Red Light. Green Light. Twelve Year Old Pussy is tight. Any pussy, left to its own devices is tight. Leave it on a shelf and don’t touch it, dust it once in a while, squeeze out its juices for love. For the love of God there is a toll. Probably as much as the George Washington Bridge. Twenty Dollars per dickhole. You can pull your own ass cheek over your eyes and sleep for days. There is no place like show business like assholes in space. When the Kentucky Derby was created Ulysses S. Grant beat Abraham Lincoln with a fishing pole and then ate his liver with William McKinley. Hows this for a riddle? Where the fuck is my rats top hat and overcoat? Hello Mr. Jones, how have you been? Has your weather been metriculated? Matriculated? Maternity Weed? Maternity Leave? Bong Hit out your swollen vagina lips giving birth to an ingrown toe nail. Swim out into space. Do the backstroke through the milky way. The waves are rough, the tongues are tougher. Don’t let the solar system get your asshairs tied up. Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Drown yourself in your own shit and gasp for farts for life. It smells so good my perfume is atrocious. Ferocious. Cretaceous. Outrageous. Dinosaurs for sale. Dinosaurs for sale. Get your big fat hunking dinosaurs for sale. Tits and tats are made for shits and shats. Goodnight lesbian bongo player. Play your bongo for your lesbian lover.
Train of Thoughts Derail