Me Vs. Christiandom


I have a problem with Christianity. Yeah, I am not a Christian, but even if I were, I hope that I would still see all the flaws in it. First off, what’s with all the fucking “sects,” you’re all the same, get over it. You believe in Jesus, end of story. Second, stop trying to get me and other people to worry about you and white people becoming minorities. Every once in awhile I get all worried, like “oh no, Muslims might become the majority,” or “Hispanics will be the majority” and then I remember, “oh, wait, no matter what I’ll still be a minority, so what the fuck is the difference?”

Next, what sort of religion gets the majority of their followers by either doing horrible things to innocent people and telling them they are the sinners and that they need to repent for their sins, or by torturing people until they have no other choice but to die a horrible death or “accept” your religion, or, finally, take advantage of scared old people on their death beds by promising them that they will go to somewhere wonderful if, at the last second of their lives, they decide to convert. How wonderful. Also, what the fuck is this shit with Mardi Gras? You’re like, Oh it’s Lent, we’re gonna give up everything, so let’s just do everything we say is a sin the day before and that is alright. Or, let’s do everything horrible in the world and it’s fine as long as we “repent” and just fess up we did it.

Then finally, this whole Jesus thing. You are following a religion based on some woman trying to get out of trouble for cheating on her husband.

Joseph: Wait, how can you be pregnant? We never fucked.

Mary: Oh, yeah…God did it!

Joseph: What?

Mary: Yeah, it’s…a miracle! I somehow got pregnant without having sex! It’s God!

Joseph: Are you crazy? That is totally and absolutely…AWESOME!! Wow! I can’t believe my wife is going to have God’s kid!

Mary: YEAH!

So basically, because some bitch got knocked up while cheating on her husband, and because her husband was the most gullible person in the world, we now, thousands of years later, still believe that quickly and poorly conceived lie. Way to go Mary, you came up with the best excuse ever. And how about how Jesus died on the cross for all of our sins? Yeah, he was up there so we didn’t have to suffer. So…2,000 years ago, I guess being put up on a cross was the worst possible death ever imagined? But, what about all the people that died much much more horrible deaths than Jesus? I don’t think that his less horrible death can really be said to have been for them. So fuck that, Christianity is stupid. So is every religion though. But Christianity especially so, and the main reason being that they tried to put something divine onto a human. If you want to have a really good religion make it all intangible, you know, it’s some spiritual thing that no one can ever see or comprehend and is bigger than us all. If it’s just some guy that we’re supposed to be amazed by, it just seems ludicrous. By all means though, Jesus was probably a really awesome guy with very liberal and progressive ideas for his time period. It’s just no human can be that amazing. Oh! And one last, most important thing. Once Jesus was born, wasn’t there supposed to be peace on earth? A new era? What the fuck happened with that? Some of the worst things ever imaginable happened after Jesus came along, genocides, tortures, nuclear weapons, massive wars, and a lot of it in his name no less! Anyway, bullshit. Get real y’all. Religion is for morons and weak people. Stop fucking trying to convert my poor old scared dying people out there, leave them the fuck alone, let them die whatever heathen religion they lived as. Bye.

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