I love drugs, I love being high. Sobriety is so dull and depressing. I hadn’t been high in over a year, I totally forgot what I was missing out on. Now I know how important being high is to me. It takes me out of my doldrums, makes me have an objective view of my boring sober self. It totally directs me to what I should be doing. It allows me to step aside and be like “this is what you’re doing wrong, and this is what you can do to correct it.” I am happy to inform, that I took half as many amphetamine as I did the last time I took it and I still got wonderful results. Sure, it’s not the intense great body feeling, but I went from waking up at 2PM not able to go to my first class of the day, to ready and raring to go to my next two classes. I’m even actually excited to go. I was seriously totally thinking about not going to any class at all, it is amazing how my attitude did a complete 180 in about ten minutes. These pills work fast and they work wonders. If I am going to be on that awful symbyax, I need to remember to take these pills every day, because it’s the only way I can do what I am supposed to. That symbyax makes me so utterly exhausted and not wanting to do anything. Thank god I see the doctor next Wednesday, I am getting off of it, I am getting rid of him too. I will try to go back on Zoloft and try to revisit my halcyon days of youth and productivity. Not just productivity but quality and originality. Ingenuity, everything wonderful and what I am searching for. Thank you drugs, I love you. You’ll get me through this shit stain on my pants of life. I’m a go-getter now, something I haven’t experienced in years.
Listen: I wrote something and I actually put effort into it. A lot of effort. I am actually really looking forward to it, and I cannot wait to see what people say about it tomorrow. This is the first time I really, really tried at something, and I want to see what the pay off is. Hopefully laughter, we will see. I wonder what sort of suggestions they will give to change it. I feel like I anticipated every possible thing they could suggest and re-wrote it accordingly, I dunno, we’ll find out. I’ll let you know. I’m gonna go now. Talk to you later. Bye bye.